January 2012
2 posts
December 2011
13 posts
Actual Conversation I Had
FRIEND (after observing nametag): This is a Cuban restaurant and that waiter's name is German.
ME: What is it?
FRIEND: German.
ME: What's his name?
FRIEND: It's German.
ME: What is it? "Kurt?"
FRIEND: His name is German.
ME: Wait, his name is G-E-R-...?
FRIEND: Yes.
ME: We just had a Who's on First thing there.
FRIEND: We really did.
Multiple Fails of the Day
Newt Gingrich fails to collect 10,000 valid signatures in his adopted home state and is disqualified from the Virginia primary ballot. Campaign director Michael Krull blames Virginia’s “failed system” and vows a write-in campaign, presumably unaware Virginia does not allow write-in campaigns. Later on Facebook, Krull amends the blame to Virginia’s “cumbersome...
“A funny woman, no matter how conventionally lovely, generally has to accept that she’ll also be perceived as a little bit funny looking. When she gets a laugh, she risks subliminally conveying the message that she’s making up for some hidden deficiency, that she’s sad or irreparably broken.”
-Meghan Daum, Christopher Hitchens Gets the Last Laugh, L.A. Times
...
THE JAMES URBANIAK CHRISTMAS SONG
I wrote this...
November 2011
9 posts
I made a Raymond Carver joke and as of this posting it’s gotten 3,588 notes. People on Tumblr sure have strong feelings about Raymond Carver!
October 2011
15 posts
Urbaniak Double Podcast Monday!
I play historical characters in two comedy podcasts with period settings posted today: J. Edgar Hoover for The Apple Sisters and Ferdinando Sacco (a la Jack Lemmon, opposite John DiMaggio’s Vanzetti-as-Matthau) in The Thrilling Adventure Hour. Only one has a Halloween theme although both could be accurately described as “spooktacular.” Treat yourself now!
His campaign staff was given the name of one woman who complained last week, and it was repeated to Cain on Sunday. He responded, “I am not going to comment on that.”
He was then asked, “Have you ever been accused, sir, in your life of harassment by a woman?”
He breathed audibly, glared at the reporter and stayed silent for several seconds. After the question was repeated three times, he...
WatchFriends of mine* wrote this animated pilot, “Snowbillies,” which was directed by another friend of mine** and features the voices of several of my friends*** (and me). Nothing ever happened to it on account of there’s no justice in Tinseltown. But thanks to the miracle of the internet, you can now watch it. It’s great!
BTW, nearly everyone involved in this is also...
September 2011
15 posts
Conversation between two guys in an office I...
GUY 1: You see that movie on TV last night, “Raging Bull?”
GUY 2: Yeah, great movie. Too bad it’s in black and white.
GUY 1: Ah, they’ll probably colorize it.
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